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Writer's pictureDanielle K. White

Triggers and reactions in marriage.

Welcome back to another episode of the "Date Your Wife" podcast. Garrett and I have been married for over 20 years and have five kids!



Over the last couple of years, we have committed to taking our relationship to another level, from good to great. On this episode, we touch base on the power of feeling safe enough to be vulnerably open with your significant other.



There are two things that we discovered this week: forgiveness. If you’ve been in a relationship with somebody, there’s an element of forgiving them and forgiving yourself.



Nobody’s perfect, and we are all human, just trying to figure out the game. The second thing that I discovered this week is reactivity. There are times that I will say things to Garrett, or he will say things to me that trigger a response. The ego will respond to fight back. One of the things I have been working on is when I feel this trigger, instead of firing back, take a second, breathe, don’t respond at all, because often times my first response will not give me the outcome I’m looking for.



Working on my reactivity has saved a lot of unneeded arguments. If you can work on reactivity, forgiveness, and vulnerably communicating, this will open up another dynamic in your relationships.



Another thing Garrett and I have done this past year to take our relationship from good to great was a weekly therapy session. This helps us get out tough conversations, and we look at it as maintenance on our marriage. You can’t go to the gym one time and expect to be fit, and having a great marriage is not just going on date night. Although yes, we do weekly date nights, but these are more to relax and have fun with each other. We need to work on our marriage every week.



Don’t miss a new episode every Monday.




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