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Writer's pictureDanielle K. White

couples therapy saved our marriage

Welcome to my blog and another episode of the "Date Your Wife" podcast. Garrett and I started this podcast almost 5 years ago. We had no idea the impact it would make. Originally, we started this as therapy. I know that sounds weird, but how many times have you gotten in the same argument that goes nowhere? We figured we'd talk about it on a podcast and the audience would keep us from going off the charts. It was actually a great way for us to communicate, knowing there might be other people listening and relating.



We now run a weekly Zoom call with couples called the "Date Your Wife Experience," Garrett and I have been on and off therapy throughout our marriage. In the last year, we wanted to take our marriage from being good to great, so we committed to doing therapy every single week. We didn’t wait until things got spicy or felt like things needed to get fixed. We chose to do therapy once a week as a working hour on our marriage. You go to the gym to work your body, you read and study to work your mind. Why wouldn’t you set aside specific time to work on your marriage? That’s what we’ve done, and it has changed the dynamic of our communication. This is what inspired us to start a weekly call with other couples. You’re not alone, you’re married, and no matter how long you’ve been married, couples are all going through a lot of the same stuff.



On this episode, both of us have a cold and just got back from Cabo. Garrett and I started committing to small getaways together about five years ago. Honestly, in the beginning, it was uncomfortable to be together without kids, but this changed the dynamic of our relationship. We got way more comfortable with each other and learned how to have fun again. We learned how to unwind and forget, even for a weekend, that we have responsibilities. We also talk about the importance of finding gratitude in your relationship. Ladies, how often are we focusing on little things that don’t matter, like the garbage didn’t get taken out on time or there’s a big fat zit you want to pop on your husband’s back? It sounds funny, but if I focus on these things, that’s all he hears. So, I have to really work on praising him and not just pointing out the big fat zit on his back.



Men need validation. They need to be told they are the man. They need to be supported and cheerleaded. But I would say women need the same thing; we need to feel loved and connected to feel seen and heard to be praised. So I would encourage you instead of focusing on the 10% of the shit that bugs you to focus on the 90% with your partner for Garrett and I it also has helped our gratitude and appreciation for one another.



Catch a new episode of the date podcast out every Monday and if you’re interested in our weekly zoom couples call click here!



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